How much does a Robin weigh?

A paraphrase of my conversation with Tim (he may have a slightly different version, but he also doesn't have a blog, so tough luck tpd) after we almost quite possibly take out three, innocent Robins playing chase without a care in the world before they inadvertently crossed directly in front of our car... (I'm still not quite sure how they made it or that they are not all smashed on the underside of my car somewhere).

Me: Aaaa...(but louder and screamier) Oh my god, how many did you hit, are they all dead?

tpd: No (said with extreme displeasure that I am so worked up about the birds) we obviously didn't hit them.

Me: What are you talking about? They flew directly in front of the car - how exactly did we not hit them?

tpd: I don't know, but you totally would have heard the sound if we had.

Me: What? We're talking about a bird not a cow here.

tpd: A bird weighs like 3 pounds and you would have heard the thunk.

Me: A bird doesn't weigh anything - you would not have heard it.

tpd: You would have heard it and there would be mass bird carnage all over the road right now.

Me: Really - cause you've hit that many birds in your lifetime that you can say with confidence you would hear a thud?

tpd: Yes. Where do you want to eat?

---

ps:
Q. How much do robins weigh?
A. They weigh 64.8 - 84.2 grams, or 2 1/3 - 3 ounces--a little less than a CD in its plastic case.

Throwback Thursday: Same-Day Narcissistic Edition

Currently - 7:21 pm - Post Haircut: You may not be able to tell too well from these cell phone pics, but this haircut is SMOKING HOT!


Throwback to 11:35 am Pre-Haircut: This hair is lame, too long and soooo... October, 2007.

This is why I should just listen to MJ in the Morning on the way to work...

Today, for the first time really, as I was driving to work, I got hit with a pang of only child anxiety. Not that I'm an only child but that I ONLY have one CHILD. I won't lie, it's been nice these past 18 months - only one child to put to bed, only one child to fix dinner for and only one child to throw tantrums over the fact I cut the top off the strawberry instead of letting her eat it like any other normal mom apparently would have.

Now, to be fair, the whole "how will I love this baby as much" question hasn't really stressed me all that much. I don't worry about loving another one equally as I honestly didn't know how I'd feel about Bridget until she was born, but there it was - a steady growing addiction to this little tiny thing that I didn't know or "love" two years ago and that now drives this ridiculous need from deep within me to buy anything with a turtle on it, just because SHE loves them so much. So, I learned that these things come with time and experience and I know I'll love this new baby just as much as I love babygirl, perhaps not in the exact same way or for the exact same reasons, but it will be there.

But there was the feeling of hey! this is my only child. She's the one I know. I know what she likes, dislikes, won't tolerate and what type of personality she has. (HINT: I just bought this book.) I know how to teach her things and I love all those things and all of a sudden there will be another child with a whole new set of "things" to learn about him or her and a whole new set of "things" to teach! My whole world will stop revolving around her needs and wants. My only child will now turn into my children- a brother and a sister or two sisters and aaahh...! that statement alone seems terrifying enough - you mean I'm responsible for raising multiple children? For ensuring that they grow and mature into responsible, caring adults with a mutual respect and love for one another? Me? Really?

As it was all starting to get too surreal, I vowed to try not to think about all of this too much. I think you can overthink anything (see there I go thinking again) and let it overwhelm you. You can worry too much about studies and parenting styles and much much more about how we can screw them up. So, instead I decided when that stress does start creeping in, I'm going to keep reminding myself that all those only child "things" that I adjusted to and love now, will turn into double the kisses at night, twice the loud laughter when dad chases them and two times the hilarious looks and sayings. Oh! And not to mention twice the fun stuff to buy when I figure out what this new one loves (that alone is super exciting, right tpd?) and not worry about the myriad of ways in which I could potentially screw them up adjusting to life as a parent of children.

Of course, the irony of this story today is that all of this multiple child (over)thinking on the way to work was nice and resolved in my head by the time I arrived and just as I was beginning to feel multiple-child mommy empowerment again - I wake up my computer first thing this morning and notice someone left Yahoo! up on my browser window (think "someone's been sitting at my computer" in a Goldilocks and the three bears sort of way) since I would never use Yahoo! (isn't that soooo 1999?) ... but, there it was, staring me right there in the face - and I could almost hear the internet gods laughing...



My personal favorite line: sibling rivalry can last into adulthood. Awesome, thanks a lot Yahoo! that's why Google is kicking your ever loving search engine ass, I knew you were only good for fantasy football.

Here's the story if you really care about this at all, but A-Le, I don't recommend watching it!

Throwback Thursday: Babyboomer Edition

I used to be big on polyester, now I'm big on poli-grip.

Erin Go Braugh!

Hope you all are having a fantastic St. Patrick's Day, too! (picture phone, sorry!)

Delicious green beer and non-delicious non-alcoholic green beer!

The Bottom Line: You never know when you're going to get caught with your pants down.

I blame Anne Curry, Google and even my Mom for this. In other words, I'm not taking any personal accountability here.

Monday night I woke up to go to the bathroom - one out of the 8 times a night I have to get up to go like many of my preggo friends can probably relate - and noticed a really tight painful feeling in my calf. I didn't think much of it, but by yesterday when it was still there, I couldn't shake Anne Curry's annoying little warning message about "unexplained leg pain" and it certainly didn't help that March is DVT awareness month. After arriving on site at SC, even though I knew better, I did it - I googled "calf pain/calf cramping". (Remember the great Malaria incident of 2007?) You can imagine what the first results were.

But, no I didn't stop there - after going even further and taking a "risk factor" test (hello, what am I thinking?) Pregnant? Check. Overweight? Uh...sorta.. okay, yeah, check. Sedentary? Not really, but I did spend that entire month of February practically living on a couch or bed of some sort due to miscellaneous illnesses... so okay sorta check. History of Inflammatory Bowel Disease?...um, don't know what that's related, but yup. DING DING DING - we have a winner:

DVT Risk Assessor

YOUR RESULTS

So, I put down the mouse and call my mom. Surely the medical professional voice of reason, the one that tells me I don't have whatever I think and that it's fine and go back to work, will make me feel better. BUT she didn't. She didn't tell me to watch it and see if it goes away - you know what she told me? She told me to call the doctor. WHAT? About some little stupid calf cramp - which by now in my head was the worst calf cramping I've ever had - seriously, the doctor? But, (insert whining here) I just called them about gall bladders and flus and god, I just don't want to call the doctor again. There's probably already a big bright red code at the top of my chart that stands for "she's one of them - the crazy calling the doctor every day with some new problem people". But, I called...

Fast forward 2 hours (in which, no lie, a nurse from my doctor's office calls me and says "how quickly can you get to St. John's" - aaahhh!! what?) - I'm in a test room at St. John's Hospital Non-Invasive (thank god) Vascular services and the nurse is telling me to take my pants off and hop up on the table. What? Tests? Tables? No pants? I didn't even take a shower today and OH! the humanity! I have holey underwear on top of it all. So instead of just getting this over with and confirming there is no massive blood clot in my leg, I start nervous-Erin rambling with some awkward jokes about not knowing I was going to have to take my pants off and the holes in my underwear and it's a really big hole and yadda yadda - she looks at me and says, "Well, honey, I probably wouldn't have even known that if you didn't tell me." In other words, TOO MUCH INFORMATION - now shut up and get on this table so I can go home.

I won't even go into detail about how I almost passed out on the table as I invented scenario after scenario of why she was focusing on some particular areas and kept making me take deep breaths and DIDN'T SAY everything was looking good at any point until the very end (after like 25 minutes) when my ears are ringing the room is fuzzy and I'm about to go down, I vaguely hear, "Looks good - I don't see any clots". Gee, coulda told me that a little sooner, don't you think? In fairness to her, I think the near fainting is because I can't lay on my back for long - I've had it happen numerous times in later pregnancy - even passed out at an ultrasound once, but she certainly didn't help the situation.

Regardless, everything is fine and I really do feel much better knowing that then continually worrying today as it still hurts like hell. And even though it's not my style (to a fault) to worry about something seemingly silly like that, I did learn that people take unexplained leg/calf pain seriously. Every single person from my mom to the first nurse to my doctor to the St. John's lady didn't hesitate saying that you don't want to mess around with that. So I guess the true moral of the story is to get what sometimes seems like little stuff checked out, even if you feel silly and everything is fine in the end.

Most importantly, internet friends, don't underestimate the importance of clean, non-holey underwear every day of your life and on that rare occasion that fate finds you without that clean non-holey underwear, for the love, don't tell people about it!

I'm pretty sure this one will be making the blog circuit quickly

Seriously? This is just crazy ridiculous what this child can do! We read LOTS of books in this house and do give her a fair amount of "multisensory input" (tv counts, right?), but considering Bridget is one month older than the girl in this video and believes most of the planet's animal species are made up of either "tur-tles", "rileys", or "birdies" or that most everything she touches is "hot" (the snow was "hot" the other day), I'd say reading full blown sentences is pretty darn good. In fact, I'm pretty sure this Mensa bound toddler read the word "kangaroo" better than my 31 years and 5 months older husband would have! Well, at least Babygirl can sing along with Flo-Rida and dance like an all-star... hmm I wonder if that would be considered "multisensory input"??

Now, the constant moving, fidgeting and the whining displayed by the toddler in this video, I can relate to, but the reading words, sentences and crazy vocabulary... check back with us in a couple of years!

PS - Did I ever mention how much I hate Anne Curry?

My Little Flo-Rida

Dances just like her daddy, doesn't she?

Throwback Thursday: Self-Humiliation and Innocent Victims

Warning: This might make certain family members of mine feel really old. Apparently, it's been almost 20 years since I was in Junior High School. It's kind of hard to believe I am a LOT closer to having a child in junior high then I am to being in junior high. I think I tend to still associate with not being "that far" away from school days when in reality I am so far into adulthood and away from school days it's not even funny. Many of you might be arguing right now that my mental age is still closer, and you'd probably be right.

So, without further ado, I give you Hixson Junior High School, class of 1989. It would appear from the condition of this yearbook, that sometime in the last 20 years I was either living underwater or had a major flood in my room/basement, etc. so please excuse the condition of these scanned photos. (Remember - you can click and see enlarged versions for maximum humiliation.)

P.S. Seems like PS's were big in 1989.
PPS. If you read this PPS, you're wasting your time. (Clever 8th grade humor, isn't it?)

Here it is, internet friends. You gotta love the rag top curly hair head - I think I might go back to that look. And, oh, how I loved that sweater...loved, loved, loved it. The black and white doesn't do the beautiful shade of burgundy justice. I thought it looked so good with my brown hair and eyes...


Now, for the innocent victims - current friends of mine that were also lucky enough to be in the 1989 Hixson yearbook. Isn't he too precious? Such youth, such innocence, and such a great bowl haircut...

And, finally, as I was scanning this page so I could point out the signed blue entry that reads,

"You r a great friend! And I want you to know that you're also one of my only normal ones so don't lose it on me"

(Mom and dad - this must make you super proud -or terrified- at the people I hung out with!) I noticed another innocent victim was included on this page. This must have been one of only a few years we went to school together (do you remember, Innocent Victim?), but click on the picture to enlarge and look closely - you'll see who my last victim is! See, you think you're safe, but you never know when you're going to appear in Throwback Thursday!


Other names and faces were blurred to protect the truly innocent and because I don't know if I can get in trouble for posting them and lord knows I don't need that in my life. My apologies to Jeremy, you made it as an innocent first boyfriend victim - but I'm also pretty sure you don't read this blog, at least let's hope not.

Welcome Miss Laura!

The Danish-American princess,
Laura Ione Windt-Lockett!

Born March 2nd, 5:20 a.m.
6 lbs 12 oz.
20.5 inches

Congrats Courtney and Thomas! So glad Miss Laura is here and hope all is going well getting settled!

Snow Day Update

It's days like today when you most appreciate having plenty of room
in your garage to keep your car snuggly warm and dry.

Happy Snowy Day friends!

Officially 11" here in Ballwin!

"Sno...sno"

I wanna watch that show Starsky... WARNING: Political views and opinions expressed as well as BAD language!

I'm not one to get super political here, but A-Le inspired me to dab my toes in the political blog-water. I wanted to post what I considered to be a super-HI-larious and intelligent skit on SNL two weeks ago by my favorite, funniest female super-woman, Tina Fey. I would have posted it earlier but NBC copyright sucks so bad (am I right Mark and tpd?), they keep pulling the clips from anywhere that posts them, so if this stops working, I apologize but as of today, I was able to find an embeddable (is that a word?) one.

I was so inspired by this little skit, I even made a t-shirt (imagine that) from it. While, I will be most happy to support either of these two democratic candidates, there is something about Mrs. Clinton that I like and admire. After all, bitches get stuff done.