OMG - ROTFL

click to enlarge

Thanks @strongrhetoric. Wow - I just automatically added that "@" sign. Seriously, I might end up here sooner rather than later.

Applejacks don't even have a Prize Inside!

While we're getting ready this morning in the bedroom Bridgey is singing a song that went something like this, "over to the ballgame, over to the crowd, buy me applejacks, ever back back back BAAAACCCKKK"

I listen a little closer and sure enough it was her own rendition of "Take me out to the ballgame", I have no idea where she learned this or why she is singing this song in February, but obviously the right thing for me to do was to join in... "Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crow---"

Bridget: "MOOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!" she abruptly interrupts my singing. "You, know that song, too?"

Me: "Well, yes, actually I do know that song. And, to be clear it's cracker jacks, not applejacks, there is a very real and important difference between those two jacks".

Bridget: ..pauses, thinks about it and then...."Oh, that is soooo cool - over to the game, over to the crowd, buy applejacks and come BACK BACK BACCCCCCKKKKKK"

From Polaroid to iPhone, I guess some things never change

When I was around 3, I was fascinated by my parent's Polaroid camera. On at least one occasion there is a long standing family story about me going up to the camera, pushing the button and taking a picture of myself. When dad confronted me about taking pictures of myself asking, "Erin, did you push the button on the camera?" Without thinking it all the way through, what with only being 3 and all, I confidently answered no. That would have been great save for the whole POLAROID picture part of it... you know the tangible photographic evidence that was simultaneously spitting out of the camera. It would only be 30-45 seconds before my squished up little face would start to appear on that flimsy polaroid film and I would be completely busted.

Flash some 30 years later to last Friday. I got a little bored waiting for tpd to return home from a seemingly never-ending happy hour with some co-blowoffworkonfridayers. So when the St. Louis February weather was warm enough to sit on my deck and enjoy a cold brew, what else could I do but to take pictures of myself with my way cool iPhone (ps - that's a rhetorical question)...

In the beginning, things were going great and I was getting some killer Facebook profile shots, don't you agree? The lighting, the freshly washed hair, the 18 ounce Schlafly glass... it was a Social Network profile photo dream come true...

But, just when I think taking pictures of myself can't get any better, an all-too-familiar cigarette smoke smell and barking little rat dog sound snapped me out of my iPhone photo shoot...

Internal dialogue running through my head will be brought to you courtesy of Italics... Maybe she didn't see you holding the phone way out in front of you and tilting your head in that no-double-chin sort of way... Surely the shutter snap sound you recently adjusted to the highest volume can't carry that far. Don't turn around. Don't. Turn. Around. And then.... I turned around.

I saw the puffs of smoke before I saw her. Dammit - she's outside smoking...dammit she totally saw the whole thing. Drop your phone, hide it, put it down now, you moron. She probably didn't see it or even if she did she didn't know what it was, right, RIGHT?!

"Hi!" I call out in such a self-assured, confident sort of way, that surely she won't know I was taking pics of myself (that same stunt I had tried to pull on my dad - at least this time the evidence was safely hidden IN my phone).

"New phone?" She answers back. Dammit, dammit - she totally knows what was going down just now who are you kidding... just come clean, idiot, make a joke, chill the eff out, everyone takes pics of themselves, right, RIGHT?!

"Um, oh yeah, I just got the new iPhone (so not true) and I was just sorta playing with it... you know, taking a few pics of the dog and what not..." I say back to her. Dammit, dammit - who says what not? Why did you just say that to her? Is 'what not' the new word for "myself'" cause SHE KNOWS that's what you were doing. Now she thinks you're a complete idiot, pack it up, go inside and for the love of god, STOP TRYING TO OVERCOMPENSATE BY TAKING MORE PICTURES OF THE DOG NOW, you're starting to freak him out, too...

Sorry Brogan, I had no right to drag you down with me.

The bottom line, I blame all of this debacle on tpd. Long withstanding issues of photographing myself aside, had he not been late, I could have made him take the pictures of me (yes, I do that, too) and then it wouldn't have looked quite so weird. So, yup fault = husband. Husband FAIL.

ps - I'd ask you all to tell me that you do this too, but you won't will you? No one does this, do they? Go ahead, tell me, I can take it.

R.I.P. Snowy 1/31/09 - 1/31/09

Yesterday was a ridiculously perfect day for building a snowman. The weather was warm enough to spend more than 10 minutes outside and thus the snow was the perfect big ball rolling consistency (that's what she said).

So, we got to work:

Actually, I got to work, since mostly all Bridget wanted was to lay in the snow and look cute. (Insert a lot of hard work from yours truly here as Bridget laid in the snow and tpd carried in the obscene amount of household items purchased from Sam's only hours prior) and then... TA DA.... "Snowy" the snowperson was born...




Snowy wasn't just any snow person, he was a freaking monster big snowperson with a big snowperson heart to match. However, he was missing a few necessities like, oh you know.. eyes and nose and a pipe to immediately start tarring up those virgin snow lungs. So, we obliged and brought Snowy to "life"....

Bridget was finally thoroughly impressed with my hard work and quickly warmed up to Snowy - amazing for her considering she's usually so freaked out by strangers, but not Snowy. They were fast friends.

Oh, how mighty and strong you were, Snowy, standing there so happy and stoic with broom in your little stick hand.

Snowy spent the beginning of his life doing what snowpeople do - chillin' with his corn cob pipe and watching the world through his eyes made out of coal... life was good for Snowy...for a few hours....

We quickly learned however, that what may be a "perfect" day for snowperson building, may not actually be the perfect day for snowperson living. Something unexpected totally expected happened as time passed... those nice temperatures got even nicer, so nice in fact that entire beings made out of snow didn't "stand" a chance.

The blow to the head was so severe, his eyes even popped out of his head.
Oh, Snowy, the humanity of it all!

I'd like to tell you that no snowpeople were harmed in the making of this blog entry, but that would be a lie. Because one was. One very special snowperson suffered TSBI (traumatic snow-brain injury) and was never really the same snowperson again...

I did learn a valuable lesson from Snowy, however. It is definitely best NOT to talk about snowpeople in relation to human emotions. Using terms like "bring him to life" and "let's name him Snowy" will only result in 2 year-old lifetime trauma when said "friend" ultimately meets a snowy demise on the corner of your step.

We'll miss you Snowy, but we know you're in a better, colder place in that big snow playground in the sky.

Books?! I couldn't even believe he said books...

Last night, while sitting on the couch with my laptop researching deals for a possible upcoming vacation, tpd and I had the following conversation (paraphrasing, I may have been a little more rude - if that's even possible - and used a few more cuss words in real life):

me: tpd, how about this one...(insert long desc. of trip here for XX amount of dollars.) that sounds like a good deal, doesn't it? that even includes airfare...

tpd: well, yeah, but look behind you on the end table there.... i put some books there. i got those books from the travel agent today, why don't you look through those?

me (almost spit out my wine): books? seriously? did you just suggest i look through books to find pictures and cruise packages? (insert creeping giggling here) i mean, i have the entire internet with 3-d zoom on the SPECIFIC stateroom we would get in front of me (giggling turning into big time laughter) and you want me to look through "2008/2009 Cruise Deals" books.

tpd: i hate you.

So, I was harsh, right? Yes, definitely harsh, he puts up with a lot. But, in the light of the morning, this little exchange really got me thinking about technology and how people have substantially different mentalities about life events because of technology. My immediate reaction was, "Books? Seriously people, do we still use books to research vacations?" After thinking though, I guess my mentality was more why would I use a book IF I have a fast-as-a-T1 internet connection, a Firefox tabbed browser where I could simultaneously be checking 4-5 different travel sites AND have the ability to get real reviews from real people who have ACTUALLY been to these locations. But, his point of view (equally as valid, I might add) was that these were from the travel agent and were "up to date" and not a bad place to start a vacation search in a more relaxed, unplugged way. Totally valid and probably a good idea, but so not where my mental state would be when starting a vacation search. For him, though, it would be his first stop. So, basically my point here (if there even is one-this definitely falls under the Erin's Ramblings category) is just how differently people can think about things these days. Where one mentality about a simple thing like planning a vacation can be so differently viewed because of things like the internet and (I hate to even mention the phrase around tpd) Social Networks.

Take the other night, I was having trouble finding a vacation planning site that I could really connect with. The sites I was searcing on - the old school travelocitys, expedias, etc just weren't working for me anymore. So, I turned to one of my newer BIF's (best internet friends), Twitter (cause after all, you're no one if you're not on Twitter, right tpd?) for suggestions on a good site to look for vacay deals. Within an hour, I had about 8 different suggestions from my tweeps of sites I'd never heard of (bookit.com, vacationstogo.com and more!) I'm now possibly having a small internet affair with bookit.com, but that's a whole different story.

Things like this just remind me of how rapidly technology is changing and that I'm at a very unique point to see it happening. My generation is one in which we can still very clearly remember a life before technology, but is now very much a part of today's tech as well. We're neither too old nor too young, it's a very unique age where we can see both ends of the technology spectrum. We can remember AAA books and trip planners, route maps, and even going with our parents to AAA where the lady at the counter would highlight the road construction hazzards and alternate routes. My kids will never know that. They will more than likely only know what we know now - real-time traffic on their GPS or mobile phone/laptop, etc and MORE! And planning a vacation, I can almost promise by the time Bridget and Shane are my age, no one will think of picking up a book first. I'm definitely not saying this is good thing, there is plenty to be said for being unplugged and the calmness of thumbing through pages, but if I already am having trouble thinking that way, imagine how they will think.

Lastly, I'd love to hear what you think - anybody have an opinion on this particular rambling of mine? I'd love to hear it since this is a big source of debate in our household - leave me a comment!

Happy Weekend Bleeps! (I just made that one up right now bleeps - get it? Blog-peeps, oh I crack myself up...)

One big one, One small one

Those of you Dooce readers have probably seen this, but for those of my family members and non-blog reading friends saying, "Dooce? Huh?" Then this video is for you. If you love animals as much as me, you'll love this video. Fair warning to reader L-Dawg (the combination of pregnancy and animal lover in you may be a bit much, but it's worth it sister!)

It is a little emotional, but don't worry, there's nothing sad - believe me I wouldn't be posting it if there was, it's just a sweet touching little animal story for your Wednesday. Your welcome.

Does the glove thing really surprise anyone?

Not the storm of the century here, but some nice little snow and definitely fun for a two year old. So, here are some pictures of my little snow angel as she put it, "I help daddy broom with my broom". Okay.... you go do what you gotta do, kiddo.

Really, she just wanted to eat the snow.
Artsy fartsy of course

Will someone please get this girl a matching set of gloves?

2009

It's not like she had matching ones last year either.
(Same coat, by the way - how value driven of me, no?)

2008

Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing, Baby

For a while now (8 months or so), Shane has struggled to find his own personal style.
He was initially a fan of the traditional, straight laced, comb over:

But then, between months 4-6 really got into a whole skater dude phase:


More recently, feeling a little rebellious, he experimented with this look:


And, finally after being inspired, settled on this one:
For some reason, he thinks this one gives him the most respect.

This is America Happening (title stolen borrowed from CNN)

This is so cool sitting here watching the inauguration of a new president. I've said it before, but really no matter who you supported, this is still such an amazing moment, but personally because it is Obama, it is our first African American president and it's generational change the likes of which we haven't seen since Ronald Reagan (that last part was just what the guy on tv happened to be saying as I was typing) but, seriously, because of those things it really does feel so incredibly significant. To watch the current President hand over the reigns in such a peaceful, gracious way really just makes me feel proud to live in this country and to be an American. Sorry, I'm being pretty cheesy, but it really just feels pretty emotional watching this all happen live.

I kind of wish Bridget was a little older so I could talk to her about the real significance, but for a two year old, I really think she summed up best how I'm feeling this morning, "Yeah, President Bar-ACK OOOOOOOOOOObammmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Bridgey like him."

*Updated to add* I so would have written this paragraph, too, if I was president:

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Why Wine and Facebook will never be "friends"

The setting: my comfy big-mistake of a purple couch, a roaring fire, dog at my feet, husband doing laundry.
The perpetrators: yours truly, a bottle of Nathanson Creek Chardonnay, and my laptop
The crime: FUI - Facebooking under the Influence.*

You may think it's a good idea at the time. You are probably pretty convinced that you have the wittiest, most exciting comments to post, but the truth is, YOU DON'T. You are not as funny as the Chardonnay would lead you to believe. People, Chardonnay is a liar - don't believe a word the little bitch says, no matter how convincing she gets (I think of wine as feminine most days).

In fact, you are more than likely not funny at all and there will most definitely be a written record of your moments of Pale Ale brilliance for "friends" to throw back in your face the next day. Yes, gone are the days when you woke up not even remembering who you called the night before - now catastrophically replaced with an oh-shit-what-have-I-done, morning-after inbox full of flashing friend requests and *worse yet* friend acceptances.
Oh my god, I requested to make him/her my friend?!

I'm in the process of speaking with an inventor right now that would halt my laptop from performing without first passing a breathalyzer. The unfortunate part of this plan is that I'm guessing that little Gin and Tonic tease would immediately remember the four other computers capable of connecting to the internet in this house and I would be right back where I started from. Looks like I might have to think broader to combat my Merlot muse. I may even have to put the whole electrical system in the house on breathalyzer lock down...maybe that would do it. I mean we'd all freeze, but at least my morning inbox wouldn't be such a scary place.

*Facebook was my most recent drug of choice, but this may also apply to blogging, twittering, linked-in, friendfeed, texting and emailing as well. I am an equal opportunity Drunk Social Networker (trademark pending), well, except for MySpace - we broke up a couple of months ago after I left him for Facebook so I definitely won't be drunk MySpacing anyone anytime soon.

Too long to Twitter...so I guess I have to post it here.

me to tpd (jokingly): stop it tpd, seriously.

bridget: stop it tpd, shuroushly

(tpd still being annoying)

me to tpd: knock it off, you're really starting to piss me off.

bridget: YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF daddy.

isn't that impressive the way she changed tenses of the word "piss" like that? gosh, my baby girl is growing up.

Totally Inappropriate, but what the hell.

I would have 1) wanted to punch these kids in the face immediately (Tommy you could have starred in this - in fact, I'm pretty sure you WERE these kids in high school) and 2) Well, now I forgot what two was cause I got so angry thinking about smartass kids like this.

Tag, you're it

I usually don't do these tagamabobbers, but I thought this one was kinda fun and since so many of you (I'm talking to you, Deadlines and Naptimes) aren't on facebook, I thought I would share this over here, too, plus it's totally a great blog post filler. (Right, strongrhetoric - head over and read hers when you're done with mine!)

Oh boy - I know you can hardly wait!

1. I started my own business at 25 and never looked back. I work most days in my pajamas or "comfy clothes" and I love it and love what I do.
2. I was born and raised in St. Louis and have only lived in one other town and only for 2 years.
3. The other town was Columbia, MO, approximately 140 miles from St. Louis
4. I am very lucky.
5. I worry too much about: my weight and what other people think about me.
6. I don't like having bosses, I like being the boss.
7. I've been known to go to Walgreens for the fun of it.
8. I have two kiddos, 20 mos. apart a girl and a baby boy. Their personalities are already eerily similar to me and my younger brother.
9. I like to cuss. A lot.
10. My husband (tim) and I went to high school and even prom together although we never dated during that time. We also went to college together and only talked/saw each other there a handful of times while there.
11. I have designed over 100 websites, but only am really happy with about 5. Can you say perfectionist?
12. Everyone in my immediately family (mom, dad and brother) graduated from Mizzou, as did my hubby.
13. I was very close to my extended family until something went wrong when my grandpa passed away and now I don't see or talk to them much. This makes me very sad at times and I miss them a lot.
14. I hope my kids never let their relationship get off track by hurt feelings and ultimately lose an invaluable brother/sister relationship. That will never happen with my brother and I.
15. I had a really, really awesome childhood and family and I still do. That is my wish for my kiddos.
16. My nickname in middle school and high school was, Ernie. It was awful.
17. I hate Ann Curry. A. Lot.
18. I love Jimmy Buffett, Margaritas and Mexican Food.
19. I spent most of 7th and 8th grade on crutches and learned kids can be really cruel.
20. Besides my hubby, my brother and sisters (in law - but I don't even think of them that way) are my very best friends.
21. I love sports - to play them, watch them and keep up with them. Fantasy football and ping pong are particularly obsessive and I am ridiculously competitive...to a fault.
22. My next door neighbor once called me a snickelfritz when I was 2 or 3, it still suits me perfectly to this day and also suits my 2 year old daughter perfectly.
23. I honestly can't believe there are people in this world that have never had a burrito... a hem.. strongrhetoric.
24. Secretly, I kind of like ABC soap operas and have since I was about 12.
25. I think I might be addicted to all things internet, social media and web design.

There you go, 25 things about me. It's really fun and kinda cathartic - give it a try and then link back to me!

This has been "weighing" heavily on my mind for some time now...

Ha ha! Genius, isn't it? How I just used "weighing" like that when I am going to write a post about weight? I am so good at this writing and punning thing. So, in keeping with the new more open, more out there blog o' mine, I'm letting you in on a usually very private element of my thoughts and life: my weight.

I'm really private about this and frankly that is totally annoying to me. Why do I get so weirded out about it? The short answer is I don't really know why. The long answer is that I believe it stems from a lifetime of hearing thin people talk about how much they weigh and how "fat" they are. When you really are overweight, it's hard to hear thin people talk about it, especially when you'd do anything to be their size. I was in a dressing room once and I heard the girl in the room next to me say to her friend with such despair, "Oh my god, I'm getting so fat! I think I might have to go up to a size 6". At the time, I was trying everything possible to squeeze myself into a pair of size 18 jeans- the largest size they had on the rack. I was so filled with envy and anger, I actually contemplated crawling under the stall, pants barely zipped, button not even close to fastening, shaking the girl and her giggly friend and saying, "Look, you don't even KNOW fat. THIS is fat." I think it's that kind of stuff (and I could start posting examples of insensitivity and insults dating back to early childhood) that really starts to build up over the years like a bad plaque that leads to gum disease. I have weight discussion disease.

Honestly, I don't even claim to know fat that well, but , I have been 226+ pounds at my highest recorded weight (I stopped weighing myself after that painful 226 day and I KNOW I got bigger before I got smaller) and that qualifies me to wear an Invisible Scarlet "F" around for the rest of my life.

When I was 25, I lost 75+ pounds and kept it off until about 30 and then... I had a baby and I let my guard down for the first time in a long time and when I did finally start getting back on track working my way back down into a comfortable (for my body) size 12, guess what? Yup, another baby, and a "surprise" one at that. At first I was so worried, I had finally gotten back into shape and things were moving in the right direction, how would this pregnancy affect things. Well, it turned out I didn't need to worry since this pregnancy worked in my favor. This one brought about a magical little thing called gall-bladder sludge which actually helped me to only end up gaining 10 pounds the entire time (even if I did throw-up the entire pregnancy and have major stomach pain)..okay, so maybe it wasn't THAT magical. But, once Shane was two weeks old, I was down even more than when I started, and then, well then I don't know what happened.

For no clear cut reason, the wheels began coming off over the past 6 months. I didn't drastically change my habits, in fact, I started working out again (albeit 2 under 2 didn't lend itself to daily workouts) when I could. My eating habits didn't change much either, although I did reintroduce a little thing called alcohol back into my lifestyle, I wasn't pounding them back all day long, but there it was - the weight. And the weight was slowly creeping up on me and then it picked up the pace to a slow jog and before I knew it the weight finished a marathon in 1.5 hours and here I was back at almost the "2" number. I saw the Doctor who, after some blood tests, confirmed I had a "pretty sluggish" metabolism, but just not sluggish enough to benefit or qualify for any treatments, just "extra hard work" and a "good diet". I so wanted to punch the adorable 5'3" 110 lb Doc in the face, I knew it wasn't her fault, but god it would have been nice to hit something, anything right then.

In the scheme of dealing with difficult health issues, weight (and having a hard time losing it and a very EASY time gaining it) really isn't the worst thing in the world. If that is my burden, so be it, I am lucky, I get that, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating some days. So, I'm opening up this pretty private area in my life to all of you, either for support or just so you can see how freaking crazy I am in my head. Either way, I'm putting it out here as a topic I will be writing about off and on as tpd and I have been and will continue to work out intensely and try to eat more balanced as often as possible without completely sacrificing (I think that's so important - I learned that lesson losing all the weight the first time).

So, like Oprah, here I am still talking and thinking about my weight and now I'm dragging all of you down with me. Grab an Oreo and kick back, it's probably going to be a long, bumpy ride.

All you gotta do is say 'earmuffs' and then you can say whatever you want...

You're in the right place oh loyal Bridget's Mommy readers (all 7 of you - up 47% from last year!) It's a New Year and I'm going a new direction. 2009 is the year of Blogging 6.0 and this year, it's going mainstream. The look and name are changing and while I'll still write about those two lovely little munchkins that make up sooo.. much of my life, there will also be a fair amount of other discussions on the other big part(s) of my life - from being an entrepreneur whose brain NEVER stops to relationships to how I think social networking can and will change all of us - even us old people. You'll thank me some day when I'm keeping you up to date with what all those young whippersnappers are up to.

So, link to me, forward me, block me, do what you will, but this blog is officially uncensored. For anyone who may be offended by the use of occasional off-color language, you may want to choose the block me or turn-the-other-cheek option. But, after much reflection and a desire to continue to grow my businesses and make money to support my social networking habit, I need to break out of the shell - a little - and let's face it, IRL (in real life), I'm still a total Pollyanna, but one who has a little bit of a f'ing pottymouth. Baby steps - see how I just used that euphemism for (*earmuffs*) fucking to break you all in slowly....

Where did everyone else spend their holidays?

Ours went something like this:

• Doctor's office
• Walgreens Pharmacy
• Call to Doctor's office
• Emergency Room
• Walgreens Pharmacy
• Christmas dinner
• Doctor's office
• Walgreens Pharmacy
• St. Joseph's Hospital Lab
• Doctor's office
• Call to Doctor
• Walgreens Pharmacy
• Out to lunch
• Doctor's office
• Walgreens Pharmacy

I'M NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING THIS, or as my parents might say, this is not an Erinism... tpd will back me up.

Will try to return to regularly scheduled posting soon. Despite all this, I do have some PFA (pretty... bleeping... adorable) pics from the holidays! Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and here's to a Happy and HEALTHY New Year!

Tweetpeeps or Tweeps - this one's for you.

And just like that, a star was born..

Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Santa Claus for this microphone I got at the lake.

I REALLY REALLY like to sing into it...

Hold your applause audience, I'm just getting to the good part....

I may still live with my parents, but that doesn't make me any less of a ROCKSTAR

See I told you all this was only a matter of time... next stop... video camera.

Ear Infections, Sinus Infections, OH MY!

So, in the meantime, please enjoy some pics of the healthy one in the family... looks like we may have a sweet tooth on our hands...

Chocolate Coma
(or Gerber baby prune coma for those who were concerned).

ps - If this seems familiar, maybe this is why.

Must. Decorate. Now.

I couldn't take it anymore - I had to "decorate" my blog for Christmas. I have no time for anything right now (much less the 38 loads of laundry that keep piling up since the whole Branson extravaganza) but I needed the holiday spirit on the blog. (PS - I'll be happy to do this for my blog friends, too, just let me know. I'm a little backed up for this week, but this weekend I can help you out. I'm totally payable in Starbucks giftcards. :)

More to come about Branson, hosting a Turkey Day party for 28 people and Christmas festivities being kicked off... but for now, here's a too cute picture of what we did last Sunday:


Isn't that look ridiculously cute? You just want to pick her up and put her in your pocket and carry her around anytime you need a dose of adorable. .. at least for the 5 minutes that she wasn't laying on the ground sobbing hysterically that she "needed" that other tree...