My little Taylor Swiftaholic. AKA "the t-shirt song" is all we listen to ALL THE TIME, all day every day. I don't even know how it started, but it's here and surely a sign of things and obsessions to come...the video is kinda long and the sound is bad, but too funny nonetheless, that I had to post it for future posterity.
This one is in honor of the Blues first 2009 NHL season game tonight. Big sports day, St. Louisians, HUGE sports day in fact, Cards, Blues, Tigers...oh my!
Seriously, though, you will not regret this 1 minute of your life if you watch this, too funny and too cute.
Don't know what this is? This might help:
Alternate Title - Turkeys really make me want to swear.
Alternate, Alternate Title - The fucking magically disappearing turkey
Consider yourselves warned those of you who may be sensitive to cussing. Okay, I'm going to try and make this short, but in doing so really try to capture a fairly typical Erin situation and the potential insanity that occurred yesterday. I'm pretty sure neither of those two things will happen, but here goes....
Yesterday.
Pulling into my driveway.
The Frames playing in the background (that has nothing to do with this story, but I do like the frames).
I was coming from a good biz meeting, lots of exciting projects/potential business opportunities looming out on the horizon (and I'm not even taking literary licensing here, that thought had actually just flashed through my head) and then there it was, out there on the horizon - well, out there on the 30 foot horizon of my driveway - which happens to be the back of a lot of condos.
*Gasp* - then outloud to myself - Holy Shit - there's a fucking Turkey on the roof. A, really big, mother fucker of a Turkey. I guess seeing a monster huge turkey right at the end of my driveway turned me into an even bigger pottymouth than usual, but shit! that was a big turkey or maybe I've never been that close to one and it was really a very averaged size turkey, but to me that mother fucker looked like a sumo wrestler.
I jumped out of my car, leaving it running (in park at least) grabbed my iPhone and prepared to snap "the turkey shot", @jkrums style (some of you will get that, for those that don't go here). So I may not be on the Today show and Dateline for my shot, but to me it was a shot I was really excited to capture and I couldnt wait to show my parents - more wildlife, very literally, in my own backyard. My parents and I have a long standing joke about the amount of wildlife that graces our house vs. their actual wilderness lakehouse. And here he was the, the pièce de ré·sis·tance, a BIG MOFOing TURKEY. He seemed a happy turkey, just walking along, pecking the shingles (I guess they peck?) hanging out on the roof, then briefly, turning to look at me as if, "oh hey, what's up, miss" (he seemed to think I was younger than I really am - I loved that turkey.)
**Newsflash**Already failed my first objective regarding keeping it short, didn't I?
So, back to the iPhone - I point it at the roof, and although through the glare on my phone screen, I can't actually see what I'm shooting, I'm fairly confident I captured him and am uber excited to send the photo to my mom when I hear the mail truck pull up.
I turn around walking back to grab the mail from her excited to have someone else to witness and cuss along with me, cause OMG, did i tell you there was a sumbitch of a turkey on the roof? I *interrupt her cell phone conversation* (which, whatever mail lady, what if I had a REAL mail question and didn't just want to show you a big fat turkey?!) point to the condos while still looking at her and say something to the *cleaner* effect of, "Look at that monster turkey on the roof there, isn't that crazy?" I see her face look midly interested as she stretches around me to get a peek and then see her expression change to confusion as she says, "Oh, well, he must have flown away or jumped down". OH NO WAY, I turn back around as she's saying this and sure enough there is no GD turkey anywhere - of course, OF COURSE(!!!). "Umm... he was just right there... he he.. I promise he was" I shout to her as she pulls away returning to her phone conversation, surely only seconds away from telling the caller on the other end about the effing crazy ass who just tried to show her a turkey on the roof of some condos in BALLWIN.
To try and wrap this up, even after peering over the neighbor's fence and looking everywhere for Mr. Turkey, I give up, grab my bread co. and head inside to at least review my photographic evidence. I mean Miss Mail Lady may never really talk to me again, but I'm safe in my own sanity, right? Sure. I was. I know what I saw.. that was until, I downloaded this from my phone:
Yup, blow it up, strain your eyes, whatever... you just keep on looking for that turkey causeThanks @deadlinesandnaptimes. This is just too funny not to post in case we have any different readers, which I really don't think we do, I'm pretty sure all 9 of my readers (up 25% from last time) read your blog, too.
Anyway, you just gotta love the onion, doncha? I'm pretty sure I won't be needing this particular drug anytime soon....anyway, truly hilarious.
I would have 1) wanted to punch these kids in the face immediately (Tommy you could have starred in this - in fact, I'm pretty sure you WERE these kids in high school) and 2) Well, now I forgot what two was cause I got so angry thinking about smartass kids like this.
Apparently, Shane is mostly only amused by his big sister, cause I've never gotten that kind of reaction from him (just excuse the sound of my laughter - I think there might even be a snort in there - and my dog chewing on a bone loudly)!
See you at the fake inauguration, bitches. And don't forget to support this highly qualified candidate, at Team Paris!
Q: How many consecutive times can an almost-two year old ask to watch the following 2-minute video clip:
Chheeeeesssseee Riley
Seriously? This is just crazy ridiculous what this child can do! We read LOTS of books in this house and do give her a fair amount of "multisensory input" (tv counts, right?), but considering Bridget is one month older than the girl in this video and believes most of the planet's animal species are made up of either "tur-tles", "rileys", or "birdies" or that most everything she touches is "hot" (the snow was "hot" the other day), I'd say reading full blown sentences is pretty darn good. In fact, I'm pretty sure this Mensa bound toddler read the word "kangaroo" better than my 31 years and 5 months older husband would have! Well, at least Babygirl can sing along with Flo-Rida and dance like an all-star... hmm I wonder if that would be considered "multisensory input"??
Now, the constant moving, fidgeting and the whining displayed by the toddler in this video, I can relate to, but the reading words, sentences and crazy vocabulary... check back with us in a couple of years!
I'm not one to get super political here, but A-Le inspired me to dab my toes in the political blog-water. I wanted to post what I considered to be a super-HI-larious and intelligent skit on SNL two weeks ago by my favorite, funniest female super-woman, Tina Fey. I would have posted it earlier but NBC copyright sucks so bad (am I right Mark and tpd?), they keep pulling the clips from anywhere that posts them, so if this stops working, I apologize but as of today, I was able to find an embeddable (is that a word?) one.
I was so inspired by this little skit, I even made a t-shirt (imagine that) from it. While, I will be most happy to support either of these two democratic candidates, there is something about Mrs. Clinton that I like and admire. After all, bitches get stuff done.
Who would have thought back in good old football fantasy land that when it came down Muldrow's qb vs. mine in the real Superbowl that the webmasters qb would be victorious?
Sure, everytime webmasters played that pesky Business Time team, Brady would score like 87 points while Eli struggled to stay in the positive and pull out a 6.23 pts, BUT in the end, in the big time game to end all games, it was Eli.
Geez, Eli would it have killed you to have played like a Superbowl qb the other 18 games this season? Anyway, no hard feelings, Eli, I still love you and I'm glad I defended you all season against all the critics.
I used to coop myself up in my room for hours performing various artist solos. I loved to perform so much that sometimes when I was much younger (okay, okay maybe I still do it now...) I would line up my stuffed animals as if they were an audience. I was on a serious Amy Grant kick for a while, then graduated to show tunes after I fell in love with West Side Story. From the time I was probably this little girl's age (in the video below), I was not afraid of performing... alas, I just didn't have the voice -or the talent. I have the dramatic flare *I think* but NO MATTER WHAT I TRY, I cannot sing....or dance really. It didn't stop me from auditioning for school plays, and it still does not stop me from singing and dancing in front of friends and family, I just really suck at it. So, I will never realize the dream of being on stage in the title role as Maria with Tony by my side singing One Hand One Heart, I've given up on that, but, as scary as this seems, I see a lot of this in someone else...
Babygirl loves anything and everything musical - from those little moving shaking stuffed things where you a push a button and they dance and sing (I wish I could stop buying them!) to commercials to the radio to her new MP3 player, she loves them all. AND she loves to dance. I haven't been able to capture the true glory on video just yet, but she doesn't just dance, she constantly looks at you to make sure YOU KNOW she's dancing. She's putting on a show for you. And her newest addition to this routine, is the movement of her mouth along with the words. She doesn't match them up at all, but she knows that mouth movement makes the words come out so she "mock sings". It's hilarious and probably inherited - I'm worried I've taught her this on some level, from dancing and singing Nelly and T-Pain in the car to just rocking out to the Wiggles in my office or when a good commercial comes on TV (NOT the Beyonce one), she sees it all the time.
Sometimes I get so stuck in baby land that I feel overwhelmed by the work and the day in day out of get up, change diapers, get dressed, feed 'em, get 'em out the door, etc that I forget there are so many funny hilarious things that go on right now and even more to come. What kicked off this post this morning is that I found this video and it totally made me flash forward. I'm pretty sure some day in the not-so-distant future, I'll be recording videos just like the one below. It starts kind of slow, but just get to the chorus, the way she closes her eyes in true dramatic fashion like the world is watching her perform. It completely takes me back to my fake microphone and full length mirror in my bedroom and brings me forward to baby girl's performances with real words and dramatic flare. In fact, don't tempt me or I'll go get my video camera out right now and show you the best fake performance of "I Feel Pretty" as portrayed by yours truly....
really I will.
I've never seen this before, so please forgive if it's been circulating the internet for months or years.
Thanks Allison - truly hilarious and what good dancers to boot!
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