and the Busted Play of the Year Award goes to...

ME! Why do I deserve this special honor? Because I TOTALLY MISSED Shane's first month doctor's appointment. Besides the fact I actually had the wrong time written down, there is still pretty much no way I would have made it even if I had the right time. For those that don't know what a busted play is, it's a saying we adopted when Bridget was a baby. My mom used to say it when something would go wrong with Bridget's "routine". For example, if she was supposed to eat at say 8am and then play for a while and then sleep for a while and then eat again at 11am, but instead didn't want to eat until 9am and then started screaming at 10am and then blew out a diaper at 10:30am and then, well you get the picture, basically the whole "routine" went straight to hell - we would call it a "busted play", write it off and start over again for the next cycle.

Well, we had the mother of all busted plays yesterday - full of lots of tears and screaming (oh yeah, and Shane and Bridget were screaming, too!) I didn't think getting ready and out the door for the doctor would be a big deal as we practically have a set morning Starbucks routine anyway, but of all the mornings to have things go horribly wrong (although, missing a Starbucks run could be considered horribly wrong) this morning just wasn't meant for a doctor's appointment. Shane was just not having any of it - eating at 7, 8, and 9am sounded good to him and every time he got done eating and I had 10 minutes to myself to try and get ready to go, he decided it would be better to fill that glorious extra time (before he wanted to eat again) by screaming. Add to the mix a screaming toddler who could not be pacified by ANYTHING and a husband running around the house like a madman because he could not find his wallet and we were the picture of sitcom domestic chaos except without the funny lines or the canned laughter in the background to lighten the mood.

So, as I'm on hold with the Dr.'s office at 9:37am (this was the ONE time that the office did not call to leave a reminder message), screaming baby in hand, mascara brush in the other, just trying to double check that the appointment was indeed 10:40am and not 10:20am a very annoyed woman tells me my appointment is "actually 7 minutes ago - it was at 9:30am, ma'am".

Okay, I get it's annoying to have people miss appointments, but did she have to add the ma'am? Really? Was that just to make me feel worse - can you HEAR the screaming in the background? So I'd like to say I handled this news calmly and rationally, but instead in my post-partum state with a screaming 4-week old in hand, toddler wailing in the background and one eye dripping with black streaks of mascara - I completely, totally lost it to doctor receptionist lady:

"Well, (sniff sniff) ....baha ahaa baaa hha.... i'm totally not going to make it..... bwaa haa ha haaaha..... screaming, wrong time, he wanted to eat all morning...... bwaa haa (sniff sniff)..... toddler husband wallet.... bwaaa haaa......what do i do now.... (sniff sniff sniff sniff) uh hhhhh hhhh hhhhh bwaaahhhh bwaaahhh..... so sorry, tell Betty sorry, she's my parent's friend, she knows me, i feel so bad, bye bye now...boowaaah bwaa ha ahaa booo bwaaa...".

Yes, my friends, that is how you win the BPOTY Award - you completely self-destruct. The good news about a morning full of busted plays, is that at some point they get back on track and things look up again. However, when you have that many BP's in a row - you also win the award and hope like hell it won't be topped.

I felt I owed it to all the guessers out there about why we do not have a first month official weight. The good news is we can try it all over again next Tuesday at 10am. I've written it down, multiple times, and have already arranged to get rid of aforementioned husband and toddler on that day so hopefully we'll have a better result this time.

Finally, here's how I spent my time after I missed the appointment and when all the screaming finally ended:

First - I googled the following in the following order (seriously, i copied and pasted this from my google toolbar, it was just too funny):

4 week old screaming
Breastfeeding trouble
Growth spurts
21 month old tantrums
toddler tantrums
dealing with tantrums
mma fight (i have no idea why i stopped and googled this, i blame tommy)
4 week olds
1 month old crying a lot
formula feeding outcast (??? don't know what i was going for here)
breastfeeding support
21 month old fits
husbands that lose everything all the time (okay, that one's not serious, but seriously, he has a problem finding things, right big d?!)

Then, I gathered up all these and poured over them for the next hour and a half:


So far, today is off to a much better start and HEY! it's 2x Tuesday at Domino's so that's something to look forward to, right?!