Riding the mushy rails, and I'm not sure when this train is pulling into the station

I'm marking this day, Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009 (still very much in my birthday season in case you were wondering) as a very important day for my first born. To many of you this may not mean much, but a lot of you will understand the extreme significance of the following words Bridgey said after we went in to get her this morning:

"I leave my wawa at home today, Daddy."

And just like that a little part of my heart sank. I'm so proud of her and so excited that all the work we've been putting in to giving her the self confidence and security to give up wawa (her pacifier for those of you who don't speak Bridget) is paying off, but when she completely of her own volition said those words before even getting out of bed in the morning, it was a little more suprising and heartbreaking than I expected.

I then watched her do all the things she usually does in the morning without wawa. She didn't move it from spot to spot as she got ready, she didn't give me a wawa kiss as we said goodbye, she didn't walk out the door with it clutched tightly in her hand or in her mouth and as daddy rolled the window down to waive bye bye and blow kisses, there was no blue wawa to blow kisses around. It was all so strange to me and all so fine for her.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure this by no means is the end of wawa, but it is the beginning of a "bigger" girl time for her. I can just tell. It's been coming for a while, pretty much steadily since she turned two, but every week and every day I see so much more of who she is and giving up such a cherished babyhood item (even for just a school day) is such a milestone for her. Just please, babygirl, don't you dare think about giving up Pinka, my little anti-change heart can't handle that anytime soon!

I must say the real people I am thinking about today are her teachers. While this new found confidence seemed easy this morning, they're the ones that will have to deal with her at naptime and I'm not so sure I won't get an emergency wawa call at some point in the day. You know what, though? You better believe I'll be there in 6.4 minutes with wawa in tow. Baby steps.