This is why I should just listen to MJ in the Morning on the way to work...

Today, for the first time really, as I was driving to work, I got hit with a pang of only child anxiety. Not that I'm an only child but that I ONLY have one CHILD. I won't lie, it's been nice these past 18 months - only one child to put to bed, only one child to fix dinner for and only one child to throw tantrums over the fact I cut the top off the strawberry instead of letting her eat it like any other normal mom apparently would have.

Now, to be fair, the whole "how will I love this baby as much" question hasn't really stressed me all that much. I don't worry about loving another one equally as I honestly didn't know how I'd feel about Bridget until she was born, but there it was - a steady growing addiction to this little tiny thing that I didn't know or "love" two years ago and that now drives this ridiculous need from deep within me to buy anything with a turtle on it, just because SHE loves them so much. So, I learned that these things come with time and experience and I know I'll love this new baby just as much as I love babygirl, perhaps not in the exact same way or for the exact same reasons, but it will be there.

But there was the feeling of hey! this is my only child. She's the one I know. I know what she likes, dislikes, won't tolerate and what type of personality she has. (HINT: I just bought this book.) I know how to teach her things and I love all those things and all of a sudden there will be another child with a whole new set of "things" to learn about him or her and a whole new set of "things" to teach! My whole world will stop revolving around her needs and wants. My only child will now turn into my children- a brother and a sister or two sisters and aaahh...! that statement alone seems terrifying enough - you mean I'm responsible for raising multiple children? For ensuring that they grow and mature into responsible, caring adults with a mutual respect and love for one another? Me? Really?

As it was all starting to get too surreal, I vowed to try not to think about all of this too much. I think you can overthink anything (see there I go thinking again) and let it overwhelm you. You can worry too much about studies and parenting styles and much much more about how we can screw them up. So, instead I decided when that stress does start creeping in, I'm going to keep reminding myself that all those only child "things" that I adjusted to and love now, will turn into double the kisses at night, twice the loud laughter when dad chases them and two times the hilarious looks and sayings. Oh! And not to mention twice the fun stuff to buy when I figure out what this new one loves (that alone is super exciting, right tpd?) and not worry about the myriad of ways in which I could potentially screw them up adjusting to life as a parent of children.

Of course, the irony of this story today is that all of this multiple child (over)thinking on the way to work was nice and resolved in my head by the time I arrived and just as I was beginning to feel multiple-child mommy empowerment again - I wake up my computer first thing this morning and notice someone left Yahoo! up on my browser window (think "someone's been sitting at my computer" in a Goldilocks and the three bears sort of way) since I would never use Yahoo! (isn't that soooo 1999?) ... but, there it was, staring me right there in the face - and I could almost hear the internet gods laughing...



My personal favorite line: sibling rivalry can last into adulthood. Awesome, thanks a lot Yahoo! that's why Google is kicking your ever loving search engine ass, I knew you were only good for fantasy football.

Here's the story if you really care about this at all, but A-Le, I don't recommend watching it!